I'm feeling a bit lonely and left out?...

Idk why, but lately i've just felt like all of my friends are super distant with me ; v ;... i want to get closer to everyone but it just seems like my mental disability just makes me someone to be avoided naturally *-*... it's basically been that way forever.

I don't even have a best friend, and that's pretty sad for me, because i always had one before, even though they eventually left me for other people, and only used me as a crutch for when they needed someone for something.... but over time i grew used to getting stepped all over so it became a normal thing for me. But now, i don't have anyone. I'm not particularly close to any of my friends on here either :/ i thought when i came here i would have made some really good friends ( not saying you guys aren't because i love you <3 ) but i thought i would be really close to someone to the point we knew everything about each other?... i don't mind sharing everything about myself, but most of my friends on here are really secretive or don't want me seeing things, or don't seem to trust me at all?...

None of my friends ever randomly start talking to me either, they only talk to me when i happen to be somewhere or they have a question they need answered, then disappear... i know i don't start up a conversation much, but that's because i'm super shy and don't want to seem annoying, plus i'm bad at making conversation.
and a lot of the time when i DO start talking to someone, they end up ignoring me a lot or when i try to talk about my feelings, they either just make a face, are completely insensitive, or just talk about something else instead of commenting on it.

I really feel super lonely now. It's seriously been starting to weigh on me and eat at me...

I'm kind of at a loss on what to do...